Music communities have made a digital shift in recent years, and the now-constant contact between artists, fans, and friends made through music can be powerful.
Seth Huseyin's involvement in music 'fandom' was invaluable in helping him realise his gender identity.
"When I was 13 my parents gave me an iPod shuffle that we found on the pavement.
"They put music onto it for me, and I found certain bands that I felt I had to listen to every day otherwise I'd feel sad."
When Seth Huseyin, 22, from London, first picked up his second-hand iPod shuffle he had no idea music would have such a profound impact on his future identity.
Seth is gender-fluid—meaning his gender can vary over time—but he usually identifies as male, and prefers 'he/him/his' pronouns.
It wasn’t until he formed a strong relationship with music, and the people in its surrounding communities, that he was able to understand the disconnect he felt with birth-assigned gender.
“I remember thinking from an early age that I was born a boy, but my parents had wanted a girl so I’d somehow been turned into one."
“I’ve experienced similar dissociative feelings towards my body throughout my life, but never really figured out why.
“I think part of the problem was growing up going to all-girls schools and the general treating of transgender people as jokes in the media — it’s not something that I would have ever felt able to identify with in those circumstances.
“But that changed when I met some other transgender people at concerts and realised I shared the same feelings as them."
He came out as transgender in January 2015, first to his friends, and six months later to his parents.
"Friend-wise I have been very lucky, everyone has been super supportive. I think I'm privileged to know a lot of good people who understand or are willing to be educated.
“As for my family, that was a little harder. Though they are supportive, it has been difficult for my parents to come to terms with it.
“I am lucky, however, that my parents are not closed-minded people, and that I know, however bad it could be coming out, that home would always be a safe environment."
The friends that eased Seth’s transition were largely people he met in queues for Gerard Way concerts.
Way, the former frontman of 'emo’ band My Chemical Romance, recently began a solo career and is a passionate advocate of transgender rights.
“In 2015 Gerard Way started speaking publicly at his shows about transgender people and their rights as well as other issues he’s always been outspoken about, like feminism,” Seth explains, leaning against a bridge in St. James’ Park.
“I was never educated about transgender issues at school, I read some information on the internet but actually being able to connect with someone about it really brought it to the forefront of my mind."
“I started to meet other transgender people at his shows, and I think that really helped me to think about myself in that way, and I realised what the feelings I’d been feeling for most of my life—all of my life—were."
“Having met those people I was able to talk to them and get advice about what I was dealing with. I could come out and learn who I was in a safe environment.”
It is clear that music has been instrumental to Seth understanding and accepting that he is not female, as he was assigned at birth. This idea even played a part in his final year project at Winchester School of Art.
"For my final show piece at University I made an art installation that was meant to be the inside of my mind, kind of talking about mental health problems and transgender issues.
"A lot of the stuff on the walls was either song lyrics or things inspired by song lyrics, so music is a really huge part of me."
See below how music and lyrics influenced Seth's final art project.
What is transgender?
As a transgender individual, Seth is part of the LGBTQ+ community. In its fullest form, this acronym represents people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, pansexual, asexual, and those who are 'allies'.
The term 'transgender' refers to people who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
This includes people who have transitioned from one gender to another, people who are non-binary—they don't identify with any gender— and those, like Seth, who are gender-fluid.
There are also those who identify as demiboy and demigirl—people who consider themselves part male or female, and part something else.
The number of people coming out as transgender worldwide has increased significantly over the past few years.
According to figures obtained by Business Insider from The American Society of Plastic Surgeons, gender transition surgeries in the US increased by nearly 20% from 2015 to 2016.
American plastic surgeons performed a total of 3,256 gender reassignment surgeries last year, a 19% increase from the year before.
It is possible that this has much to do with the inclusion of transgender people in the media, with ex-Kardashian Caitlyn Jenner and Orange Is The New Black’s Laverne Cox having made headlines for their transitions in the past few years.
But Seth believes the inclusivity of some internet communities may also have played its part in helping transgender people feel comfortable enough to speak out about their dysphoria.
"Though I met most of them in person first, I stay in contact with a lot of my transgender friends through the internet.
"These communities are generally strong and supportive of each other."
The dark side of 'fandom'
Although Seth has clearly found comfort in the friends he met through Gerard Way, he doesn't consider himself part of a 'fandom' anymore.
"I was definitely more involved with 'fandoms' when I was younger, but I feel like I grew out of them because there’s also a lot of negativity involved and fans pushing each other over to be the ‘best fan,’" he says.
Seth has seen instances of fans shooting each other down and competing with each other to seem the most dedicated to a band.
“I've seen fans say to each other ‘oh, you can't be a fan of this because you haven't liked it as long as I have’ or saying ‘you can’t go to multiple shows for the same band because you need to let other fans see them.'
“But also people put too much pressure on the bands themselves because they feel they know them, so if the band does something wrong in their eyes there’s this pressure for the band to apologise.
“The 'fandom' just creates this vortex of ‘this person is problematic therefore you can’t like them'—everything has to be absolute, good or bad, and that creates a lot of arguments within fan groups."
But despite these issues, Seth can’t deny that his personal fan community and his relationship with music has helped him come to terms with his gender identity.
"Without my friends it probably would have taken me a lot longer to realise what was going on with me.
“I definitely wouldn't have come out to my parents as quickly as I did, because I’m pretty sure the only reason I felt able to come out in the first place was because of the friends, the fan family, I had holding me up and being supportive of me."
